🔥 I’m Not Your Soulmate (And That’s a Good Thing)

Today I also want to say something clearly:

I am not your soulmate.

And I say that with love.

When we think of love, most of us think in human terms. We think romantic love — eros. That physical attraction. That passion. That “we were meant to be” feeling. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. talked about eros love, philia love (friendship), and agape love — unconditional love.

There’s more than one kind of love.

Eros is romantic.
Philia is friendship.
Agape is unconditional — the love that comes from God.

And most relationships have eros and philia.

But agape? That’s rare.

Agape says, “I love you because God gave me love for you.”
Agape flows from God Himself — because God is love.

Now about this soulmate idea.

When people say “soulmate,” they usually mean:
“I was destined for this person.”
“I was made for this person.”
“We were meant to be.”

And I need to say this clearly — if you think I’m your soulmate, I’m not.

I’ve received letters. Messages. People telling me that.

No.

I know who I love. I know who God has revealed to me. And it’s not you. I promise.

Please don’t send romantic letters. I’m not interested in eros love with you.

Now philia? Friendship? Yes.
Agape? Absolutely.
Unconditional love? Always.

But romantic attachment? No.

And I say that gently, because I want you to understand something deeper.

If you desire a husband or wife — that’s a godly desire. I pray God leads you to someone who will love you and whom you will love.

But here’s the truth:

Not every long relationship is ordained by God.

Just because you’ve been together 20 years doesn’t automatically mean God put you together.

It could be.
But longevity alone doesn’t prove divine origin.

People stay together for many reasons:
Convenience.
Image.
Family.
Phrases like “we built this life.”
Pride of life.
Lust of the flesh.
Lust of the eyes.

Sometimes we call it love — but it’s idolatry.

And if a relationship is not rooted in God — in agape — it does not have the only love that lasts forever.

God is the foundation.
Eros flows from Him.
Philia flows from Him.
Agape is Him.

If He is not the foundation, the relationship may look successful — but it cannot endure eternally.

And sometimes, if you love God, He may ask you to put down a relationship He did not ordain.

That’s hard.

You have to choose:
Will you follow God?
Or will you idolize that man or woman?

That choice is real.

And that’s why I say — I’m not your soulmate.

I’m here to help you love God.
Love yourself.
Love people.

In that order.

God bless, Shirah Chante, your relationship coach and artist

P.S. This is just part of the conversation. I sing God Is Love and go deeper into 1 John 4 in the full episode of Relationship Rock. Go listen on your favorite streaming platform and leave a review 💛