When someone doesn’t accept you for who you are, it’s like they want to take you through a sort of emotional plastic surgery, just like when a person changes part of their body physically because they just don’t think they’re pretty enough or perfect enough in that area.
Perhaps they want a straighter nose, bigger butt or stronger eyes. In the same way, you can undergo a change in laugh, start using words you normally don’t use to make you sound cooler, or act in ways that cause you to fit in with the popular kids; even if it’s not the way you normally behave.
I totally understand because I used to do the same thing when I was in middle school. See, I was really smart in academics, and I didn’t want my friends (or so called friends) to think I was a nerd, so, I pretended to be really goofy, trying to make people laugh as to not appear as smart as I really was.
The danger in that is that you could lose your identity for good once you get “accepted” into a particular group or clique at school, church or other place you hang around with others your age.
The dilemma is that you want to be a part of the club, but you really don’t fit in with the club you’re trying to be a part of.
Why don’t you try this? Instead of going through emotional plastic surgery, find a group of people that you do get along with. When you are around them, you don’t have to change your laugh or smile. Yes, you can be who you are without changing a thing.
You’ll be accepted, loved and appreciated for who you are without pretending to be someone you’re not. People will know you for real instead of tolerating a figment of their imagination of who they think you are but really are not.
Ok, that’s a mouthful, but it’s true. Bypass the emotional plastic surgery and save yourself from more harmful physical bypasses of your heart.
Love healing hearts,
Shirah Chante
Relationship Artist
PS – Listen to the podcast “Losing My Imagination” below for more insight into this topic.