We are often sold a specific ideal of what a successful relationship looks like: a perfectly smooth journey, an “even keel” where conflict is minimal and the waters are always calm. This picture of serene partnership is held up as the ultimate goal, the sign that we have finally gotten it right. We strive for a life with our partner that is free of turbulence, believing that any disruption is a sign of failure.

But what if this ideal is not only unrealistic but also undesirable? What if the constant pursuit of a frictionless connection is robbing us of the very resilience that makes a partnership truly last? The truth is, the most profound and durable relationships are not built on an absence of difficulty, but on the shared strength to navigate it. 

God bless, Shirah Chante, your relationship coach

PS+Watch Embracing the Realities of Relationships for more insight.