We’ve been talking about love and 1 Corinthians chapter 13, what love does and how love behaves. Today we’re in verse five, but I’m going to start at verse four because that’s where the sentence begins: Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up. Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil. That’s a lot. We want to fall in love, but we don’t always know what to do once we’re in love. We get with someone, it’s love at first sight, we date for years, and now we’re finally in love. But even though that romantic eros love brings you together, you need unconditional agape love, God’s love, to stay together.

Agape love is the basis of a lasting relationship. Because if you get upset with your partner, if the fire dies down, if things change over time, you need something stronger than attraction to hold you together. And God is love. First John chapter 4 says, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God… He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Even in order to truly love someone, you have to know God. That’s how serious this is.

Love does not envy. Envy is dangerous. It’s when you resent someone for what they have. You may not be trying to take it, but you hate that they have it. And that hate can grow in your heart. Let’s say your spouse gets promoted, or wins something big like a gold medal at the Olympics  and now all the attention is on them. Envy could rise up if you’re not careful. You might feel left out. But love says, “I’m happy for you.” Love speaks against those negative thoughts. You have to talk to yourself. You have to confess what’s true: I love him. I love her. I’m grateful for their success. Envy has no place in love.

God bless, Shirah Chante, your relationship coach

P.S. To hear the full teaching and deeper breakdown of 1 Corinthians 13, listen to the entire episode of the Q&A Call How Love Behaves. Like, subscribe, and share.